Family and Their Family.

This evening, my cousin Chris came over for dinner at my parents house. He lives in Saskatchewan, but was out visiting his birth mother. His birth mother, Desiree, actually lives in Denmark, but she comes out to visit some of her family in the area. So Chris, his mother, his mother's daughter, and an aunt all came to dinner. In was a neat visit for a couple of reasons:

1. I always love my family and getting together with them. My dad's side of the family is huge, but we can not see an aunt or a cousin for years, and get together at a reunion or wedding and have an amazing time. Chris was one of those cousins whom I didn't spend a lot of time with, but he was memorable. Probably because he was the one who first made me watch Robin Hood Men in Tights when I was young, and probably not a movie my parents would have let me watch at the time. I brought up the memory tonight, and we had a great time laughing about it. He was excited to see us girls and meet our babies too.

2. The other dimension that was neat to see was his relationship with his birth mother whom he has only been in contact with recently. A couple of years ago, his mother somehow got my mom's name and contact info through the internet that was linked to his name. I know I've heard specifically how, but I can't remember. My mom was very careful not to get too involved in case this wasn't going to be a positive event. Desiree would call my mom occaisonally from Denmark. My mom gave the contact info to my cousin Chris at some point, so that the decision would be his to pursue it or not. I'm not sure when or exactly how things happened, but obviously he did choose to be in contact, and I almost think he made a trip to Denmark to see her, but I'm not positive. But he made the trip from Sask to see her here. They seemed to get along well, and I believe he did refer to her as mom. Yet he still talked about his mom (adopted) and her prize winning gardens and you could tell the affection was there in his voice. Everything seemed very natural and I enjoyed seeing the interaction. His love for his adopted parents didn't change, it seemed as if he was just lucky enough to have 3 parents.

I sometimes wonder what a relationship would be like between my husband and his birth father. Everything depends upon both parties. The both have to have an accepting attitude. I know James has wondered too if he would want to punch the guy or have a relationship with him. I think a lot of that depends on how his father would respond.

But it was really great to see a positive situation and to see that it doesn't change the love for the adopted parent(s).